at a statuary near you...

Now the sign says “Yard Art.” For sale no less. And you may say “yard art.” For me and mine, we say “lawn trash.” In fact, we sometimes (not for awhile, but we have said) redistributable lawn trash. My sister and I have actually bought pink flamingos to sniper people’s yards, and had a great time with Ari doing the drop and go. I do have a favorite of those folks - the guy (obviously with a great sense of humor) who moved his flamingo into his planting bed and managed to make it look nice. We have a whole new respect for that guy – and we didn’t sniper him again after that. The best kind of fun with lawn trash is to redistribute in the same neighborhood. You don’t steal it, you just move it a little. Like into a neighbor’s yard so it looks like maybe they stole it. Or in a neighborhood with lots of ornamentation, line them up like a little parade on the sidewalk….all harmless and in fun, no goose ransom or anything. My daughter has been snipered (on graduation day, obviously, you gotta love that they dressed one in a cap and gown.) This little crowd was all facing the front door when I opened it too, the effect was a little creepy (especially for a goose lover like myself.)



And she has stepped up on birthdays and paid people to plaster our yard with pink elephants (and a really big sign) for Pete’s birthday:



No, he’s not a drunk or anything, he collects elephants – I kind of discourage too much buying of pillows, footstools, ceramic goo-gaws and what not, because my home does become the showplace. And yes, there is a table too, but that’s for another day maybe. Anyway, we awoke to a yard of pink. The dog was singularly unimpressed.



On my birthday, I got polar bears. Very appropriate for a number of reasons: I dislike winter (intensely, yes, I live in Chicago, sigh,) I dislike lawn trash (obviously,) Pete’s elephants were such a hit (that shit is just funny) and I was going to Florida for my birthday weekend, she might have been just a teensy bit jealous. Oh, and my birthday is in January, thus the bears blending so well – and she got to use that catchy phrase on the card.



So when you drive past your local ‘yard art’ sale, ponder for a moment whose yard would look best with a shiny new martian ball out front. You know you want to…