Adventures in Dentistry

I went to the dentist today. Yeah, go ahead, shudder a little – I hate the dentist too. What’s more, I secretly thrill when someone else has to go there and I don’t – I’m just that petty. Today it was my turn in the barrel, or the chair, under the drill - you get my point. To add to the excitement of a ‘normal’ trip to oral equivalent of a proctologist, I’ve found the pitchman of dentists. So far this guy has sold me (in order) toothpaste, mouthwash, (and this stuff is capital-N Nasty, who ever heard of having to add flavor to mouthwash?) a rotodent toothbrush (not cheap) a shower-installable waterpik (that my husband just laughed about – it’s still in the box) and a bottle of vitamins. Now before you judge (yeah, I really should be able to say no, no?) I am at a disadvantage being in that damned (intimidating) chair at his mercy. And I will just say, I only bought the vitamin C – not the three other kinds he was hawking (really, I wish I was kidding.) Today I got lectured on dentistry not being holistic enough. Please. I have a primary care physician – as some of you are graphically aware. I sure don’t need more blood tests (yep, he has one of those to tell if you’re heading for a heart attack or something) or someone to push vitamins. I really just need someone to fill, clean, whiten – whatever. When I want to find someone to channel Billie Mays, I’ll let you know. In the meantime, I’ll just say “ahhh-no.”